This Christmas was unlike any other. I spent the night before Christmas, crying on and off throughout the night, with constant thoughts of my dad running through my head. I kept thinking about last Christmas. How weak my dad already was but how grateful we all were to have him home for the holiday. It is definitely a day I would love to go back to. But then I kept remembering that he is no longer here. I can't believe that so much time has already passed. It feels like it was just yesterday when I was making daily hospital visits. I can't fathom the fact that it has almost been a year. 8 days until it marks one year since my dads passing. My heart aches thinking about it.
This Christmas the family got matching pajamas and my sister made little ones for Lily and Dylan. And to have my dad with all us she cut out hearts from one of my dads old shirts and sewed them onto all of our pants. Definitely the greatest pair of pants I have. A difficult Christmas but a joy to share it with my family. That heart is a reminder of my dad and I will always carry him in my heart.
My brother, sister, and I dropped by the cemetery to visit my dad on Christmas as well. It was beautiful to see so many poinsettias, trees and Christmas decorations everywhere. As well as numerous people visiting their loved ones.
So much pain, but so much love. So many tears, but so many memories. So much hurt, but so much to remember.Christmas was not the same. But its a comfort knowing that my dad is no longer in pain. I miss you with my whole heart. Its been a tough year but we are getting through.
I love you dad.
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