Sunday, August 18, 2013

The day my life was changed.

Today, it marks the day that my life and world was completely turned upside down. August 18, 2010, 3 years ago, marks the day my dad was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins T-Cell Lymphoma. It is a day that I will never forget-- a day forever ingrained in my heart and my mind. I clearly remember sitting at the dinner table with my mom and having her tell me that my dad had been diagnosed with lymphoma. For close to 2 weeks my dad had been in the hospital for a cough that wouldn’t go away, in the hospital for what they thought was pneumonia and after multiple tests and consults from a Nephrologist, Pulmonologist, Infectious Disease, Rheumatology, and finally Oncology- the mystery had been solved. The cough and difficulty breathing was caused by the Lymphoma in his lungs as well as his spleen and abdomen. Oh, how my life was changed.

When my mom told me I immediately started crying --and crying. And as I tried to go to sleep that night, tears continually streamed down my face and I found myself screaming into a pillow so upset with the diagnosis. When I woke up that next morning I remember thinking that it was just a dream, that I was going to go visit my dad at the hospital that day for his pneumonia and soon he would be home with us and we could continue planning our annual family vacation to Pismo. But it was not a dream, and reality set in. We put our vacation on hold, came together as ONE to FIGHT and TEAM CELERA came together in full force! I even had bracelets made TEAM CELERA on one side and T.C.K.C.A (Team Celera Kicking Cancers Ass) on the other. August 18 will always have a place in my heart. It marks: the day of my dad's diagnosis, the day my life was changed, the day I began my fight for my dads life! It marked the start of chemotherapy treatments, X-Rays, MRI's, blood transfusions, dialysis, it marked up's and downs, seeing my dad bed ridden, to days my dad was able to get out of bed and walk those hospital hallways. It marks the start of drained energy, daily hospital visits, taking notes from the doctors when I was the one in the room with my dad, breaking the "only 2 visitors in the room at a time" rule, transferring to different rooms in the hospital: DOU, ICU, CCU.. Neutropenic Isolation. It marks family taking over the waiting room. It marks makeshift beds in the waiting room. It marks homecomings, family time at home, sharing an In-N-Out burger in the comfort our home together. It marks being able to spend our last Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years together. It marks the 911 calls for them to take my dad back to the hospital. It marks numerous tears shed. It marks low blood count, failing kidneys, high creatinine levels, low platelets, fever, fluid in the lungs, storming heaven with prayers. It marks a rollercoaster of emotion. It marks having loved ones surround my dad as he took his last breath on January 7, 2011, sending him with lots of love, prayer and tears. It marks my dad now being pain free and at peace. It marks my dads journey. It marks strength. A battle. My families journey. Our fight for my dads life. It marks a journey that has changed my life.

Losing my dad has been the HARDEST thing I have ever faced. When he passed away I had no idea how life would go on without him, how I would be able to go through each day knowing my dad wouldn't be there anymore, how I would no longer hear him singing songs as he got ready in the morning, how I would no longer be able to play a round of golf with him on his birthday, how I would no longer have In-n-out runs with him when he had a Friday off of work, how I would no longer be able to listen to him making up stories as though he knows the name and life story of everyone person we pass on the street, or how I would no longer be able to see his smile or hear his laugh. My dad's journey with cancer has impacted my life, more than I ever imagined. And it continues to change my life. And although my life is incomplete without my dad-- I continue to remember what he taught me. I remember the good times that we had. I remember our family roap trips, with his cassette tapes as the background music for our travels. I remember the laughs- the smiles- the hugs. I remember the golf lessons he gave me. I remember the sound of his voice as he sang songs around the house. I remember our trips to home depot when I was little, and having to watch the shopping cart full of supplies and wood, while he ran around the store. I remember pretending to be asleep so he could carry me up the stairs and put me in my bed. I remember his heart- his generosity- his love. I remember and cherish all the years we had together. The impact he has had on my life. The legacy he left.
He is my reason for running. He is the inspiration for my fundraising. He is at the root of my passion for a cure. He is FOREVER IN MY HEART and ACTIONS.
If you want to make an impact in the fight for a cure, and have a few dollars to spare, please consider making a donation towards a cure for cancer http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/nikesf13/punchcancerintheface I can't tell you how much it would mean to me. Especially TODAY, the day my life has been forever changed.

Thanks for taking a read!

Live with PASSION,
Sam